Sabrina (Post 1)

“Sabrina, what do you think you’re doing?”

I didn’t even bother to look up from my Blackberry – fifteen new e-mails? What the hell was wrong with these people? What part of the word “vacation” did they not grasp? “Chill out, Tanya,” I replied with a sigh. “I’m just checking to make sure nothing important has come up.”

Tanya leaned forward, trying, either seriously or in jest, to grab at my phone. I lifted it over my head and scowled at her.

“S, you promised!” she whined, sounding much like my daughter did every day of my life.  “T, relax! I need to be available in case of an emergency, I told you that,” I said through my teeth, sick and tired of arguing with my friends over my attachment to my Blackberry. Yes, I carried it everywhere, even to the can. Why couldn’t they just accept that, so long as I was trying to make partner at Cotts & Beaker, LLP, my Blackberry was an essential part of my being? Like an arm or a leg or an eyeball?

“A legal emergency?” Tanya said skeptically, raising an eyebrow. “So long as people ain’t dying…”

“Worse than that,” I snapped. “People’s livelihoods are on the line. Whether a company fails or not. Hundreds of people who go jobless if I don’t do my job.”

Tanya chuckled. “Oh yeah. Sure. If people’s livelihoods depend on the lawyers, then we’re truly screwed.”

Sky, who had been seemingly minding her own business up until this point, holding an OK! Magazine in front of her face, suddenly looked at me, rolling her eyes. “S, it’s seven days. I’m sure all your minions have everything under control.”

I playfully glared at her. “Oh, oh, Sky, hey, why don’t you just go back to drooling over the Twilight hotties? Huh? Who are all, like, ten years old?”

Before she could respond, the theme song to Dora the Explorer started blaring. She fumbled through her enormous Marc Jacobs handbag, muttering, “God, already? We’ve just gotten here. Can Dave not do anything by himself?”

Tanya lifted her hand, palm up, in Sky’s direction, a look of amazement on her face. “What is it with you two? For God’s sake? We are on Paradise Island, in one of the poshest resorts in the Caribbean! Hel-LO! Can you please put your goddamn crackberries away for a few days? How about a few minutes?”

“Excuse me, ma’ams?” We turned to see a tall, gangly Bahamian youth dressed in a bellhop’s outfit that was two sizes too big for him. He cleared his throat. “Yo’ rooms is ready,” he said, faltering slightly under the scrutinizing gaze of Tanya’s cat eyes.

We stood to follow him, Sky talking through her teeth into the phone, “No, no, I said don’t give him peanut butter! Peanuts before the age of three can cause fatal allergies… Jesus, Dave, all of my instructions are on the fridge…” We were led through the casino, which was comparable to any casino I’d seen in Vegas. An expanse of gaming tables and slot machines stretched out before us, populated by fanny-pack-wearing tourists and well-dressed businessmen alike, even in the middle of the day; towering glass sculptures illuminated with phosphorescent blues and oranges; murals depicting old maps of Atlantis, replete with vividly-colored mythical dragons and pirate ships. The air buzzed with the ringing of the machines, the clatter of coins, and the anticipation of unwon jackpots.

I felt Tanya slip her arm through mine as she whispered, “Aren’t you excited? This could be so great, if you let it.”

I smiled at her tightly, trying not to look impatient. “T, it will be great. Even if I check my crackberry once in a while.”

She slowly let her hand slip out from the crook of my arm, her smile fading a bit, and I knew she was disappointed in my response. I clearly wasn’t showing enough enthusiasm, enough willingness to let reality go. I shrugged the handle of my bag back onto a comfortable position on my shoulder and sighed as we finally reached the end of the casino and entered the lobby of the Royal Towers. We all instinctively looked up, marveling at the ornately decorated columns, the Mayan-style molding, the statues and murals of mythical sea creatures. While a hodgepodge of architectural styles, there was no denying it was impressive. A fantasy, an adult playground. Our coltish bellhop, Daniel, droned about the history and amenities of the hotel in monotone, his eyes focused on the memorized lines in his head.

We rode the elevator to the 20th floor, where Daniel showed us to our suite. He held the door open for us, and Tanya rushed in squealing, tossing her bag on the king-size bed and pressing herself against the sliding glass doors to the balcony. Sky had hung up with Dave and was fuming over their conversation, but forgot it the instant her eyes found the crystal beach beyond the doors. She, too, tossed her stuff on the bed and skipped to Tanya’s side. Without putting anything down, I walked to stand beside them, smiling.

“Nice,” I said.

Tanya turned her sparkling hazel eyes on me. “Sabrina, this could be really fun, if you let it.”

Sky inhaled. “We really are in paradise, guys.”

“Can I get you ladies any ting else?” Daniel stood at the door, looking uncomfortable.

Tanya walked up to him slowly, swaying her hips ever so slightly, and tucked several bills into his hand. “Just one more thing,” she purred as Daniel’s eyes widened. “Don’t ever call me ‘ma’am’ again.”

The boy gulped, his Adam’s apple bouncing. “Yes ma– er, miss?”

Tanya giggled. “That’s better.”

Daniel stumbled out of the room as quickly as possible, and the instant the door shut I moaned and covered my eyes. “Jesus, T. You scared the shit out of the poor kid.”

Tanya flipped her curly red-gold hair off her shoulder indignantly. “I am not so old that anyone should be calling me ma’am.”

Sky bubbled with laughter, clearly getting excited by the prospect of frolicking on the gorgeous beach. “He was just being respectful, T. You’re old enough to be his mom.”

Tanya’s brow furrowed indignantly. “I am not! How old was he, maybe seventeen, eighteen? That makes me, what, fourteen years older?”

I lifted my suitcase onto one of the beds, tossing the crimson, gold-tassled throw pillows out of the way. “Well, technically –”

“Shut up, S,” Tanya snapped. Sky and I exchanged furtive looks. Age was a sensitive subject to Tanya. While she forbade us to celebrate her birthday, we always managed to convince her that a quiet dinner out was in order (no gifts, no cake, no singing). She usually got drunker and drunker, until she was throwing herself at any young stud in the immediate vicinity – bartender, waiter, married patron sitting at the table next to ours celebrating his anniversary with his wife…

“The beach is calling my name,” Sky suddenly said brightly. “I think we should go down there immediately.”

“Don’t you want to check out the resort first?” I asked. I picked up the leather-bound book sitting on the bureau, next to the sixty-inch television. “This place is crazy. Maybe we should go down to the lobby and book some activities and excursions before they fill up.  Man, look at this. You can do everything from scuba diving to pottery-making.” I flipped through the enormous book as, this time, Tanya and Sky exchanged looks. I didn’t miss it. “What?” I demanded, closing the book suddenly.

Sky hesitated. “S, we just want to chill, you know? We…well…”

Tanya interrupted, her tone sharp. “We don’t want you scheduling our lives down to the second, the way you do yours. We’ll just go with the flow. If we miss some excursions, big deal. We’re here to relax, not stress out.”

I flinched. Ouch. “I don’t… You…” I huffed. “Whatever. I just thought you’d want to plan something. I wasn’t going to… Whatever.” I slammed the book down on the bureau and started rummaging through my suitcase for something to do.

Sky came up behind me and touched my shoulder. “Sabrina, don’t be mad. We just really want to – want you to relax. For real. No plans, no schedules.”

I tried to hide the anguish in my voice. “Yeah, sure, no problem.” Didn’t they get it? Didn’t they see? Without my schedules, without my plans, without my work… I was left with my thoughts. And I didn’t want that, not for a second. Because I didn’t know what thinking about my life would do to me.

We changed into our swimsuits and terry cloth dresses in considerable silence, until Sky started telling us a “funny” story about Dave and her kids. I half-listened as we got ready to walk out the door, touching my pocket covertly for my Blackberry.

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